Category Archives: poetry

I wasn’t ready.


It’s no one’s fault, but mine alone,

The trials of life, soon disappeared,

Alone at night, put fear aside,

The bitter facts, that all men lie,

A bold denial, my tears flow miles.

I ran so hard, this race called life,

I spread my wings, grew up too quick,

Surrounded by friends, from college to graduation,

I grabbed each opportunity firmly, both hands gripped tightly.

It happened at three, that weekend it rained,

We gathered to party, after weeks of working,

Invited to Camden, a jazz bar and restaurant,

We totaled eight, four men with their lies.

Drinks flowed from the bar, mastercard on tap,

Men flirted with danger, women lingered in laughter,

Dinner deliciously digested, jazz smoothed our souls,

Sexy atmosphere around us, pretty drunk I sounded.

My boss stuck to my side, his hands wearing his vows,

He planted his hands, upon my knees,

I wasn’t ready and froze, his lips planted a kiss,

My mind lost in confusion, my body seeking translation,

This kiss opened a chapter, his lips broken my walls,

Sadness crept inside me, anger turned on and bite me,

I pulled away from him, the slap was well deserved,

I grew up way to quick, this story, his kiss was not my click.

By Julius Fa

Just A Kid!


I’m just a kid, so they say,
I won’t understand, they always state,
Just let him be, their abandonment of me,
Give him time, to disappear no doubt.

You think us less, and treat us best,
You try to mould, our minds won’t rest,
You raised us up, from infant to teens,
You are the Home, we’ve always known.

But in our teens, we start to fight,
We bite and rage, unafraid of age,
We speak our minds, we show no care,
You lose control, and fear the trolls.

We have the future, within our palms,
From Facebook to Twitter, the world so large,
We see the evil, within ourselves,
We start to stress, life’s pressured to oppress.

It was not smart, to gift me a phone,
The pain of porn, the violence on YouTube,
The ugliness of Instagram, self harm on Tictok,
I cannot breathe, within my skin.

I’m just a kid, that broke too soon,
I learned to lie, took drugs to die,
I drank more alcohol, black eyes on ice,
Few cuts to prove it, online they love it.

I posted this photo, taken by Kelly,
It shows my good side, without the dramas,
The masses adore it, inside I hate it,
He’s a good kid, my mum declares it,
Shame we don’t talk, why won’t they HELP ME?

By Julius Fa
©2021

The Brave Ones


We are the brave, no badge to show it,
We rule the waves, life’s hard you know it,
Our names the same, just say and own it,
We won’t be cages, you wait we’ll fight it.

The world in rage, pandemic and change,
Governments panicked, laws rushed,
Millions fell, their future stolen,
The present frozen, mental health rising,
In God we trust, our hope in vaccination.

We need to adapt, no rapture in tax,
Economics stalled, billions on loans,
Revival in furlough, struggling to borrow,
Bills and hunger, food banks our saviour,
Boredom and caged, longing for sane.

Stay strong not lame, find fame not vein,
Some connected, via zoom,
Soon forgotten, their doom,
Silence angry, be still,
Violence rising , more gloom.

Can’t defeat me, I’m proud,
Fear released me, hope found,
Courage within me, I’ll stand,
Happiness becomes me, let’s smile,
Brave and free, I’ll see you at three.

By Julius Fa
©2021

A Father’s Silence.


It wasn’t her fault, she couldn’t cope,
I did my best, her health was pressed,
She failed to see, the beauty in three,
She opened that door, this family she left,
Our children were young, her feelings grew cold.

It was a test, I told myself,
To raise her kids, alone and poor,
No time for petty, no time for wishes,
I had to work, two feed them well,
I learned to cook, and sew and more.

The boys were tough, at times too rough,
They cried for mum, but learned to love,
They grew up quicker, by ten their men,
Without the norm, they stood by me,
They cherish my stay, surrending their youth.

My angel was tougher, a daughter so needy,
She hungered for mum, afraid of fun,
Bullied at school, she stuck to books,
Escaping the norm, learning to belong,
I gave her my all, attentions and hugs.

Many years past, two jobs my curse,
Higher they rose, brighter they shone,
Glory within, tears down my chin,
Burning with hate, given this fate,
Wasn’t her fault, she wasn’t their mum.

A soldier is born, a second commands,
At college they ruled, giving life a chance,
A father so proud, his daughter a nurse,
The children aged three, now adults at last,
I sit down to reflect, still tearful within.

Thank you my love, a mum you still are,
You gave us a gift, three angels of God,
The stresses of motherhood, made you depart,
I dare not reveal it, for these children are my heart,
In silence I suffered, in our daughter you stayed.

By Julius Fa
©2021

Trapped behind this door.


Where is the days? Where is the nights?
Behind these walls, I sense all is lost,
Time forgot me, sanity denies me.
This pandemic haunts me, fear holds me.

I have no friends, I lost my job,
I hate to Zoom, I’ll rather die,
My boss was wrong, to end my furlough,
The greed of men, my mental self cries.

I weigh too much, I will not eat,
This room is ugly, inside am lonely,
My stomach aches, for food no doubt,
Leave me alone dad, and mum get out, This room is lovely, it’s me whose ugly.

This isn’t me, it isn’t fair,
I curse this Covid, for stealing my mind,
I had few friends, a job I loved,
Freedom to live, my life was good,
But now we’re caged, this lockdown my rage.

I walk this garden, I see this door,
It’s locked always, no key is found,
It’s covered with weed, am frozen with fear,
My mouth is sealed, I can’t call out,
The number beside, the date I died.

By Julius Fa
©2021

Daughter’s request of a father.


It’s time to ask, this dad of mine,

To set it straight, my wounds to heal,

What truly happened, to mum that Summer,

To walk away, from us her family.

For twenty long years, my life on hold,

Seeking answers to questions, to one dare ask,

Dad raised a family, my brothers and I,

Never wanting to say it, her name that is.

I’ve heard his tears, and seen his scars,

Each night he broke, his heart couldn’t sleep,

He wore a smile, to show he’s brave,

He worked two jobs, to keep us safe.

Each birthday a cake, each milestone was bliss,

Never hurting to show, the love he gave freely,

He wanted us whole, never lacking a mother,

He raised two soldiers, and I a nurse.

It was this Easter, within this pandemic,

I braved the cold, he’s now so old,

What truly happened? That made her leave?

He looked at me, and said “she’s still here.”

by Julius Fa

©2021

Sense


I see no sense, I can’t pretend,

The days are short, and the hours fly past,

I saw some snow, after five long years,

It melts my heart, I shed some tears,

Within these walls, my sanity lies broken,

Each memory is daunting, each day I suffer,

This lockdown won’t stop, each nightmare I make,

Dreams fail me, and words torment me,

My past neglects me, my present abuses me, don’t ask about the future,

Time is lost, for me it seems,

Hours and years, feels much the same,

Should I beg, should I wait,

Nothing but longing, hoping for Grace.

By Julius Fa

©2021

If Night Could Talk.


It was a winter, just like this.

The days are long and the nights grew short.

If time could talk, it would have said,

what humans would do when hid in the dark,

Can you see through the dark of sin,

The stars that watch and turned away,

It seems at times that if we talked,

The world would listen and stars will fly.

I cannot seem to connect my thoughts,

My feet are cold, my hands are scared.

You look at me. They turn away.

It is too much for you to say, “good night, sweet dreams” . You humbled by.

But it’s not enough to stop my cries.

I scream.

I shout.

Will anyone listening.

Good night, Sweet dreams. I wish tonight.

By Julius Fa

©2020

Just Saying.


It’s good to question and ask the few,

Each word you use, reflects your thoughts,

What wisdom you draw, sends hints of your kingdom,

You express and demand, no answer will you command,

Human nature isn’t a game, human minds aren’t your fame,

Stay close and watch, no peace on earth.

Just gravity and fragility, just saying you are not smart.

By Julius Fa

©2020

Just Saying

Too Old.


“It’s been too long”, the old will say,

The steps of life, away they play,

They fought our wars, and died our deaths,

We play our phones, and curse their tones,

We disrespect these slow old men, that seem to think, inside we’re doomed,

We push them down, and make them wait,

They look so broken, with fragile weak eyes,

The youth show nothing, no matter their age, they rush and jump, no fear or pause, they talk of things, no root or cause, they worship their iPhone, Samsung and all,

This old man watches, and laughs at their ways, they are afraid, their courage is cowardly, their minds of technology, drives them towards insanity, broken and shameful, we fought for their freedom.

By Julius Fa,

©2020