Tag Archives: aging

A Father’s Silence.


It wasn’t her fault, she couldn’t cope,
I did my best, her health was pressed,
She failed to see, the beauty in three,
She opened that door, this family she left,
Our children were young, her feelings grew cold.

It was a test, I told myself,
To raise her kids, alone and poor,
No time for petty, no time for wishes,
I had to work, two feed them well,
I learned to cook, and sew and more.

The boys were tough, at times too rough,
They cried for mum, but learned to love,
They grew up quicker, by ten their men,
Without the norm, they stood by me,
They cherish my stay, surrending their youth.

My angel was tougher, a daughter so needy,
She hungered for mum, afraid of fun,
Bullied at school, she stuck to books,
Escaping the norm, learning to belong,
I gave her my all, attentions and hugs.

Many years past, two jobs my curse,
Higher they rose, brighter they shone,
Glory within, tears down my chin,
Burning with hate, given this fate,
Wasn’t her fault, she wasn’t their mum.

A soldier is born, a second commands,
At college they ruled, giving life a chance,
A father so proud, his daughter a nurse,
The children aged three, now adults at last,
I sit down to reflect, still tearful within.

Thank you my love, a mum you still are,
You gave us a gift, three angels of God,
The stresses of motherhood, made you depart,
I dare not reveal it, for these children are my heart,
In silence I suffered, in our daughter you stayed.

By Julius Fa
©2021

Not The Same


You changed my nature, with all your crap. Each day a trail to cope and bear, no sanity in you. Just anger and bitterness, I don’t understand you, because all you do is strange to me.

You shout when talking and command when losing, afraid to moan I lower my voice and watch. You are apart from time and space, I know nothing you say.

You scheme like your name. I am not like you, and will never cave in my name. Let God decide, which date our fate presides.

By Julius Fa

© March 2020

The Other Woman!


painting-two-women

I love them both, it is my curse,
A separate heart, to hold two trust,
A man within, the heart of two,
It’s not for lust, I speak of just.
I shared my all, to make them smile,
Denied too much, afraid to fall,
What fate drew luck, towards my door,
I welcome both, to bold to fold.
A week apart, I kept their path,
Beyond this earth, a sense of love,
Blessed with hope, their joy in lope,
I need to change, this fate is mean.
I’m not that bright, I have no sight,
Is this a fling? I need to bring,
The need of two, my words now few,
They sense a change, my ways not same.
I broke two hearts, for life declares it,
I had to tell, them both of cheating,
I’m not the man, they see before them,
I need to fill, this hole inside me.

By Julius Fa

© 2015

Not My Style.


It’s not my style, to make a home,
I’m way too quick, I feel like silk,
You made the plans, for you and I,
Without my thoughts, your plans now fall.

I’m light as wind, no home my own,
I keep no files, on those I had,
Just clothes well pressed, to easy my stress,
I will depart, so ladies play your part.

She caught my eye, in rooms so high,
Her legs ran wild, her style like mine,
Her skin real smooth, her hair light mild,
I lost my thunder, to please her wonder.

Her kiss was real, my heart now deals,
A partner for life, a partner in kind,
She was my right, a light in sight,
I fell so quick, my love now bleeps.

You won’t believe, her game like Eve,
She stole my heart, it was her art,
I packed my bags, when out she jacked,
So long sweet Jade, you are sweet poison.

By Julius Fa
©2014

Goodbye Old 2014 Self!


The year has pass, you did not know,
It’s been a while, we’ve seen you there,
Months and days, you failed to stay,
A year well spent, to some it was.

I saw you walk, so tall and bold,
You left friends back, to shame and lack,
You loved them not, just used them raw,
Such balls you wore, too big to crawl.

Time passed by, in weeks and ways,
You took a stance, so work right through,
To please yourself, your wealth grew quick,
A crowd you drew, no family in sight.

In search of love, you spend wild nights,
With different classes, you need your glasses,
They tore you heart, you stole their pride,
For lust and want, September now dawns.

Return to sanity, and leave this vanity,
You ran straight through, the hours of fools,
The pursuit of happiness, the arrival of darkness,
Prepared to fight, but Claire was right.

So it ends, a year now spent,
No gain but loss, not right but wrong,
He lost this fight, no friends just woes,
Goodbye 2014, you brought no joy.

By Julius Fa

©2014

A Moment Please!


A moment please, was all he asked,
No time to wait, a dish served cold,
Lots to say, but whose to hear,
Seeking fame, but no one cares.

He had a plan, attached to dreams,
Full of self, limited by trust,
He wanted it all, spoken in codes,
We watched in wonder, he hide his thunder.

The words he spoke, hit home and sunk,
In depths beneath, a heart so dear,
We showed no care, for he’s not there,
In mind and here, we dare not fear.

But take a seat, cross your feet,
Grab a cup, pour your drink,
Change your mood, hear his thoughts,
A moment please, was all he asked.

By Julius Fa
©2014

This Saturday.


It started good, with cheese and toast,
A cup of tea, the winter’s blues,
The singing birds, outside it’s cold,
The call for fun, a time to run.

I sit and watch, no programme too keen,
To please my taste, my wife looks on,
The sight and sound, of cooking begins,
I grab a drink, of whiskey and rum.

The kids away, in college with friends,
Their dad’s alone, together with mum,
No time to play, just thoughts and gum,
Chewing with haste, what wishes are done.

The time hits six, a day gone with me,
The dinner was great, a kiss for mum,
Together alone, talking of fun,
I whispered away, a Saturday well done.

By Julius Far
© 2014

I Want To Write.


I want to write, but what about?
A life well lived, or one well tamed,
I walk about, in search of facts,
To write about, I have no doubts.

Begin to see, prepare to smile,
I have a way, to feel this place,
It’s wise to say, I stayed away,
But not by choice, just thought and Joyce.

It rained today, my mind gone wet,
The sound of wind, inside am clean,
I cross the path, between our worlds,
Was pain so cold, was doubt my own.

On I match, about this town,
Plain and simply, I once use to say,
A run well done, a fight well won,
I want to write, but time isn’t right.

By Julius Fa
© 2014

You Can Save Me!


I feel so sad, I want to cry,
I look inside and wonder why,
I’m filled with guilt, I want no lilt,
I try to run, away from life.

I run so hard, I see no path,
I need a bath, but wait till last,
This self I hate, this face I fake,
I’ll cut my flesh, to end my stress.

I trip and fall, my legs are gashed,
I ripped my skin, the pain sinks in,
It feels so good, I know not why,
I want much more, to end my all.

You try to help, I scream and belt,
You fall aside, I’m sick inside,
Just leave me be, your face will see,
My shame and horror, my life of sorrow.

By Julius Fa
© 2012

Tears For Love.


It’s not like me, to feel this way,
I paid the price, you tore my skies,
The years we dined, were fine and last,
But fate took flight and out you went.

I waited long, for you to phone,
The days were rough, my nights were tough,
My heart was stilled, too slow to heal,
I could not feel, for love was killed.

I blame you not, was all I thought,
You see my friends, I must defend,
She was my all, with her am tall,
It felt so right, she is my light.

I cried this day, for you once more,
The pain that grew, with winds that blew,
My tears shall fall, my heart will fear,
But that’s the path, to heal my past.

I wont let go, my hope in her,
I sit and wait, this phone my bait,
Just call and speak, her voice to me,
I’m weak inside, I can’t move on.

By Julius Fa
© 2012