112. Into Me

There is a guy, inside my mind,
He’s cute and tall, so says my mum,
He wears his heart, for all to see,
He’s real and says, not much to me.

We work together, each day is different,
Our eyes have met, that moment was great,
He’s shy for sure, because he pretends,
To not take notice, each moment we share.

He has a name, I want to own,
He’s gentle and keeps, away from gossip,
I once got dared, to say hello,
His sweet response, shows me he cares.

I wished he’d ask, me out one day,
A meal or snack, to easy our curiosity,
No need for guards, around our hearts,
He’s worth the risk, am I insane?

He’s into me, I tell my mind,
I stay the course, within this space,
I’ll pray we talk, or share a case,
I stare at him, he smile at me.

By Julius Fa
©April2024

74. Found Grace In Me.

I found myself, in you this day. The open air, brings peace and stares. The gentle breeze, releases my fears. Just time to think and time to be. It’s never easy, being myself. I bring no gift, no skills of love. Just humble silence, in search of brilliance. Engaged to see, that you are key. The Grace I know, stands tall and wins. She’s never dull, just shares and cares. The simple joy, that hugs can bring. Prepared to spread, true love this spring. She’s full of hope, her eyes so green. In me I give, what little I have. To hold her up, I try to cup. The vision of us, together true friends. She has in me, a home for real. It’s filled with love, this much she knows. Her name is Grace, it’s not a race. True love can take, awhile to make. Just hold on tight, don’t leave this place. Believe in you, pray well and stake. Your fate will find, that bond so kind. Her hands I’ll kiss, to bring her bliss.

By Julius Fa

©March2023

10. That Kiss.

It’s Friday night, at last it’s right. To chase the girl, I’ve loved all year. She’s tall and smart, and full of life. She fun all round, her laughter is sound. We work together and sit on leather. We’re based in HR, dealing with issues. She’s confident and brilliant, beautiful inside. I’m opposite and safe, loving her from afar. From colleagues to best friends, everything we share. She’s flirtatious and sexy, teasing me with her hair. She surrenders her secrets and knows am trustworthy, am too shy to tell her, how much I want her. Now into the dilemma, this Friday brings. Here at a bar, we danced and drank. With workmates around, she looked into my eyes. I fear she read me, seeing into my soul. Time slowed to stillness, with her arms around my neck. Our faces within inches, knowing what is next. But she dropped her head and laughed it away. I swallowed quietly, my heart pounding away. That Kiss didn’t happen, so what now should I do?

By Julius Fa

© Nov2022

You Can Save Me!

I feel so sad, I want to cry,
I look inside and wonder why,
I’m filled with guilt, I want no lilt,
I try to run, away from life.

I run so hard, I see no path,
I need a bath, but wait till last,
This self I hate, this face I fake,
I’ll cut my flesh, to end my stress.

I trip and fall, my legs are gashed,
I ripped my skin, the pain sinks in,
It feels so good, I know not why,
I want much more, to end my all.

You try to help, I scream and belt,
You fall aside, I’m sick inside,
Just leave me be, your face will see,
My shame and horror, my life of sorrow.

By Julius Fa
© 2012

Tears For Love.

It’s not like me, to feel this way,
I paid the price, you tore my skies,
The years we dined, were fine and last,
But fate took flight and out you went.

I waited long, for you to phone,
The days were rough, my nights were tough,
My heart was stilled, too slow to heal,
I could not feel, for love was killed.

I blame you not, was all I thought,
You see my friends, I must defend,
She was my all, with her am tall,
It felt so right, she is my light.

I cried this day, for you once more,
The pain that grew, with winds that blew,
My tears shall fall, my heart will fear,
But that’s the path, to heal my past.

I wont let go, my hope in her,
I sit and wait, this phone my bait,
Just call and speak, her voice to me,
I’m weak inside, I can’t move on.

By Julius Fa
© 2012

You Made Me!

You do not care, you throw your stares,
I’m just a case, you tend to share,
My life you plate, yours friends to dish,
I am a toy, you think to deploy.

You made me cry, to show you can,
You knock me down and tried to drown,
You stuck a knife, into my back,
Your friends laughed on, it seems am dumb.

You picked on me, because am different,
I don’t fit in, am far from norm,
You spit with hate, my face you maze,
My sight is dimmed, my heart implore.

It wasn’t long, before I snapped,
Your hate destroyed, the guy I was,
Now dark my tears, with blood mixed in,
You created me, now face my wrath.

I lost my cool and plot with easy,
A bomb to blow, you up in trees,
I hate myself and hate you more,
You should have left, me by myself.

By Julius Fa
© 2012

The Cost Of Bliss.

I’m not the same and not that lame,
It was my fault, I hate adults,
You tore my heart, because I doubt,
This love you teach, is out my reach.

I tried to settle, before the petal,
Declare the spring, I long to bring,
Was love so great, it lacked the taste,
Of sweet delight, I am not bright.

I gave my heart, she did her part,
We walked for miles, inside we smiled,
The world around, amass by sound,
I did not see, you let me down.

I cried for weeks, till tears grow weak,
I hurt and tried, denied but why,
I sort no ill, just strength to peel,
You from my heart, because you depart.

The phones were silence, the air so violent,
I wished to heal, I know you feel,
I crushed this us, because of dust,
I am to blame, we’re not the same.

Look deep and read, my words will speak,
The truth is bold, i write with cold,
Reverse the old and free my soul,
To love is risk, it is such bliss.

By Julius Fa
© 2012

Forgive Me.

I have a song, I’d like to share,
About a girl, I use to care,
We built our lives, for three long years,
But failed to bridge, the gap between.

I loved her so, but couldn’t complete,
The bond of two, in one with peace,
She grew too quick, to love my wit,
I paced the beat, within my heart.

I cared too much, what dad would say,
If home I brought, this part of me,
She too couldn’t bear, her folks to see,
This guy she found, new strength and being.

We talked so much, about life’s stuff,
We’re good together, inside your feathers,
You shared your son, with me his fun,
I saw the family, I long for sanity.

But deep within, you saw my sin,
The world around, as cut me down,
I’m not myself, I shall not love,
You tried to change, my nature in vain.

It was a day, much like this rain,
I cut away, from you like stain,
You cried no doubt, my heart went south,
My smile is gone, you was the one.

By Julius Fa
© 2012

What I’m Made Off!

I’m made of steel, that will not rust,
It’s full of strength, that’s meant for lent,
My knees wont bow, to those that growl,
My heart is hard, because I’m strong.

I have in mind, the sights you send,
Your talk is cheap, your tongue will keep,
The lies you mix, beneath your feet,
I see the fake, you think is real.

I hate to wait, I am no bait,
I’ll start the fight, you turn and run,
The streets my code, the cops my foes,
The light they beamed, to curb our sins.

This night is young, with tales of fun,
It holds its own, without a phone,
To seal the deal, they beat our heels,
I knee in pain, I am insane!

By Julius Fa
© 2012

I Am Human After All!

I told a lie, I tried to hide,
It was my fault, I could not talk,
The sweat that fell, revealed my fears,
I told a lie and now must fly.

I hid the truth, I was so rude,
I did not want, the few to doubt,
The self they see, this me is real,
I hid the truth, they are my wolf.

I am the fool, they search with tools,
That cut the tongue, of those that rant,
About their lives, they hold such pride,
I am the fool, they look with eyes.

I should have cried, because I tried,
To be the saint, I think I’ll faint,
I hold no right, am filled with fright,
I want to cry, just let me die.

I am all things, to those that bring,
The truth in spring, a fool to sing,
The lies I form, will taint me some,
But I wont cry, because am fun.

By Julius Fa
© 2012